Remus sat in Grimmauld Place, reading a long scroll of parchment. He was feeling a little down. His transformation had come over him night before last, and even with Padfoot by his side, the wolf had taken its toll. Remus nibbled on a piece of chocolate, and sighed. He shoved the parchment away, and stared unseeingly across the kitchen. Even the weather reflected his feelings, with a chilly grey sky and heavy rain. Sniffling a little, Remus wondered if he should go take a nap.
But before he could stand, the kitchen door opened and Sirius walked in, smiling. "Morning, love." He came up behind Remus and kissed his neck softly. "I have a surprise for you."
"A surprise?" Remus turned to face his lover. "What is it?"
To his utter shock, Sirius reached into his robes and pulled out a small box, dropping to one knee as he did so. He opened the box to reveal a lovely, glittering ring. "Remus... will you marry me?"
All the depressing thoughts blew away in an instant. Remus' heart leapt for joy, tears filling his eyes. "Oh - oh Siri!" He broke down as Sirius smiled up at him. "Yes! Yes! Of course I'll marry you!"
Sirius slipped the ring on Remus' finger. It was a bit tight, but Remus was too happy to notice. He flung his arms around Sirius' neck, kissing him passionately. "Oh Siri-! I've been waiting so long...."
"I love you, Remus," Sirius whispered.
"Oh Siri... I love you too..." Remus beamed, looking at his ring. 'But -"
"But what?" Sirius looked worried.
"My ring. It's too tight," Remus said, trying to twist it off. "It hurts."
"Oh, I'm sorry....." Sirius helped Remus pull it off. "I must've, uh, picked the wrong size."
"But Siri... you know my ring size." Remus stared at him. "You memorized it in sixth year."
"Um, oh - sorry, Remus - I probably forgot when I was in Azkaban..."
"You wouldn't forget." Remus' eyes narrowed. "And you haven't called me 'Remmie'. Not once."
"Er - Remmy-"
"You spelled it wrong!" Remus shrieked, jumping up from Sirius' lap. "You're not Sirius!!!!"
"Remus -"
"What underwear am I wearing?" Remus asked suspiciously.
"Er - boxers?"
"NO!" Remus screamed, backing away. "You watched me put on the pink panties you like! YOU ARE NOT SIRI!"
At that moment the kitchen door swung open again, and another Sirius entered, rubbing his head. "Somebody hit me on the head and stuffed me in Buckbeak's room," he complained.
"Siri!" Remus ran to him, sobbing. "Is that really you?"
"Of course it is, Remmie. What's -" Sirius saw the other Sirius, and scowled. "Tonks. Knock it off."
Remus gaped in horror as the extra Sirius transformed back into the familiar pink-haired form of Tonks. "Shit. Almost had him."
"The day you marry my boyfriend is the day I gut myself," Sirius growled. "Get another hobby, will you?"
"I... I kissed Tonks," Remus whispered. "I... I.... have... I have... COOTIES!"
And he passed out.
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